One last goodbye
by Ianthia
Summary: The blight is over. Elissa heads out for one last stop at Redcliffe to say goodbye. Bioware owns everything! Thanks to my beta reader this has been edited! I hope you enjoy this new version even more! I will continue the story. It will need a name change


**A/N** Thanks so much for the reviews! I get very embarrassed when I have people ready my stories so I am very happy you liked it! This story was requested by my daughter who has a crush on Teagan. It was written as a short one shot with a happy ending for a little girl that loves a fairytale. After much advice from my beta reader (*hugs*) the story had been changed around and edited to make it more in character. I hope you enjoy this version as much as I loved writing it!

I have decided to continue the story - it's been stuck in my head. I am working on the next chapter as I type this. I am having a blast writing about Teagan *swoon*. I hope all of the Teagan fans will enjoy the ride. :) No ETA as yet for the next chapter. I don't want to swamp my beta reader since she does have a lot to work on!

PS - If you see any typos please let me know :) I tend to miss things after reading it so much. I really want to make it perfect!

**Chapter 1 – Confessions**

Breathing deeply, Elissa sighed as she took in the soothing earthy tones of her favorite garden at Redcliffe Castle. Whoever had designed the garden had transformed the balcony into a wonderland; even when the Blight was at its worse Elissa felt calm here. She leaned against the stone wall that overlooked the lake below and closed her eyes.

When she was a child there was a garden very much like this one at Highever. It was her magic kingdom, complete with castles, moats, knights on white horses and, of course, the fair maiden who needed rescue at every turn. This is why she loved Redcliffe Castle so much – it transported her back to her childhood, which was a time when everything was joyful and safe.

The first few months after the Archdemon lay dead had been chaotic at best. With Fergus alive she had joined her brother in planning their homecoming, since a handful of nobles held true to their word to help the siblings retake Highever Castle. No-one had let her go, even after stabbing the sodding Archdemon in the head they still though of her as a fragile noble's daughter. They sat through her angry rants and ignored her pleas to join the fight, but in the end it was Fergus that settled her mind. He did not want her to see the castle before it was restored. He didn't want her memories of their family tainted by whatever she might be confronted with. As much as she really wanted to go she understood what he was trying to save her from seeing. There were some things even she admitted she was not ready to face.

Four weeks ago she had received word from Fergus that the castle was ready for her to come home. She had packed her bags, said her goodbyes to her friends in Denerim, switched the ghastly dresses for her more comfortable armor and headed out – in the opposite direction – to Redcliffe for one last goodbye. Elissa always received a warm welcome here. To the village people she was not the noble's daughter, she was their hero. She was the warrior maiden that saved their town, their arl, and the world when her group ended the Blight. They saw her for what she was now: a Grey Warden sworn to serve the people and not what apparently she was destined to become: a stupid noble stuck in the castle all day.

Elissa guessed it was probably a delay tactic coming here; she wasn't really ready to start her life again. So much had changed over the past couple of years. She had changed. She was not the same girl that fled from home to join the Wardens the night her family was slaughtered. How you go back to something that you feel so distant from when you feel so dislocated from the person you once were? Strange as it was to her, Redcliffe felt like home. It fit into whatever her life was, and it was part of her now.

In the months preceding the end, her motley group of heroes had spent a lot of time here at the castle. It was always the place to rest and plan their strategies for the upcoming battles as they used the experience of Arl Eamon and his brother Bann Teagan to guide them. When it all became too much Elissa had come here, to her garden, to let the feelings of peace comfort her. She hadn't always been alone, since Teagan had joined her on many a night. As they leaned against the rough bark of the big central tree they would talk for hours, until they fell asleep, and the sun rose to wake them in the morning. Elissa cherished those nights. He had made her forget the burden of the Blight; the sadness and never ending death. He was there to shoulder her doubts and fears at being a leader. He made her _feel _like the brave and beautiful woman he liked to say he saw.

Truth be told, he was the reason she wanted to come to Redcliffe one last time. He was the reason why she came to the garden tonight hoping he would look for her and join her. But she hadn't seen him since dinner. He had seemed different, thoughtful even, when she spoke of returning to Highever. Teagan hadn't spoken much to her all night – only asking her what her plans were once she returned home. Elissa was beginning to think it would be different for them now. Now that the Blight was over she didn't need his shoulder to cry on – she didn't need his strength to anchor her.

Elissa sighed one more time and turned to leave. It was then that she saw that she wasn't as alone in the garden as she thought. Leaning up against their tree was Teagan with his head back against the bark and his eyes closed. She could see he was talking to himself by the movements of his lips but she was too far away to hear. Without a thought she thanked the Maker (and Zevran) for her stealthy assassin training and crept closer. She leaned around to listen as she ducked around a tree.

"Elissa, why are you here?"

Elissa jumped at the sound of her name and whipped back behind the trunk. It took her a moment to realize he hadn't spoken to her; he was still sitting with his eyes closed.

_He doesn't realize I'm here. Wait... He's thinking about me?_

Elissa could feel the warmth of a blush spreading down her body. It felt like she was intruding. It was wrong to eavesdrop, that much was obvious, but she was pulled by her sudden desire to know more. It was possible that she wouldn't like what she would hear, or, just as possible that she would like it. _That_ thought made her blush even harder.

Elissa quickly ran through her options. She could turn around and sneak out the door and probably take with her the only chance she would have to know exactly what he was thinking. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to face him again if she walked away now. Pretending she wasn't here would feel like deception. The bolder move of course, would be to let him know she was here and accept she might not like the consequences. Very few people enjoyed having their private moments intruded on; the idea that he could take it badly concerned her.

_Face it Elissa, only one option will give you a clear conscience._

She had almost decided to make her presence known when she suddenly remembered she had come here, on a whim, after changing for bed. She had dashed out of her room without even thinking about her attire. She looked down at the flimsy nightwear she was wearing and groaned. The nightdress covered her well enough for _bed _but it wasn't something to wear running around a castle – even if it was at night. It was too much! Conscience or no there was absolutely _no_ way she could talk to him dressed like this. She finally turned to try and leave but she couldn't seem to make her legs work, her body wasn't going to _let_ her leave. Instead, she stood skimpy dress and all, frozen to the tree trunk.

_This will go down really well when he sees you._

She heard him let out a somber moan and looked around again to see if he was all right_. _Teagan was sitting with his elbows rested on his knees and his head between his hands. He looked so sad. She wanted to hold him, comfort him like he had done for her. She needed to tell him that whatever it was it would be ok. He had been her strength for so long - she couldn't bear to see him like this now.

_Oh, just go. You know you should._

Summoning whatever strength she could find in her shaking knees, she slowly crept around to stand in front of his feet. She carefully let herself fall her knees and waited, holding her breath as she did so.

_He'll kill you when he notices you're here. You do know that, right?_

"Elissa…"

"Yes, Teagan?"

_Snap!_ She almost laughed at his response. Moving quicker than she though possible, his back rammed up straight against the tree. His knees fell back to the ground, but he didn't open his eyes. Elissa sat in silence and waited for the yelling to start. But when he spoke he didn't sound angry – he sounded amused.

"Are you a dream?"

Elissa didn't know how to answer that – on the one hand it was intriguing that she might be in his dreams and on the other hand she was too embarrassed to think of an answer. For the second time that night her body wanted to act on its own. It ignored her frantic pleas to stop and slowly crept forward, her knees on either side of his hips she sat down.

_For the love of the maker girl _what_ are you doing? Your mother will be rolling over in her grave._

She leaned forward to whisper into his ear.

"Do I feel like a dream?"

Elissa froze in surprise as his hands slid along her bare legs and up her back, making her body quiver in response. If he hadn't been holding her so tightly she would have run out of the room like a frightened animal.

_Stop! Get up! Get out of here while you still can!_

Elissa watched his reaction as the cheeky grin she was so fond of spread across his face.

"You _could_ still be a dream. I hear desire demons are very thorough."

_So I'm a demon now._

Sighing to himself, he rested his head back against the tree and opened his eyes. She watched as he silently took in her position and the gown she was wearing. Elissa was thankful it was too dark for him to see she had turned the color of a ripe tomato – although she doubted the darkness was enough to hide the heat that was radiating from her. He relaxed and smiled as he closed his eyes again.

"How long have you been here?"

"If I say _long enough,_ will you hit me?"

He chuckled and pulled her a little closer.

A sudden, and much belated, wave of panic finally hit her. She tried to wriggle of his grasp but he only held her tighter.

"I…I should go"

"Why?"

"Oh... so you want a desire demon who is trying to seduce you?"

"That depends. Is it trying to seduce me?"

"If it was – would it be working?"

_I don't want to leave_...

Elissa stopped struggling, relaxed, and settled on stunned silence instead. She _did _like it here in his arms despite her panic. She didn't want to remember her mother's lectures on honorable behavior – she _wanted _to be here in his arms, where it was comfortable and warm and safe. She tried to ignore the feel of his body through his linen night clothes and wished quietly that she at least had dressed more appropriately.

"So, my lady, will you answer a question if I ask it?"

"I guess?"

"Why did you never get married?"

"I..what?"

"I happen to know that half the nobles in Ferelden sent their sons to Highever. I'm curious – what was wrong with all of them?"

Elissa sat up and looked at Teagan. He didn't seem to be teasing her again – his eyes looked completely serious. It also didn't seem to bother him that she was staring, mouth hung open in shock.

"They were all idiots," she said at length.

"Idiots… You just called the next generation of Ferelden nobles idiots?"

_Sigh. You had to go there, didn't you?_

"They were all scared of me."

"Indeed?"

"They all came looking for a _wife _– the kind that stays at home and plays house – and not one that knew a hundred ways of killing them if they annoyed her."

"Only one hundred?"

"Well, it was a hundred then – I've learned a fair few more since I met Zevran."

"So you're saying that if a suitor wasn't scared of your... skills... you might have married?"

"Maybe, if it had been the right one. But, it doesn't really matter now, does it? Being a Grey Warden doesn't exactly make me a fine match now."

"Why not?"

"The taint. It kind of ruins the whole marriage and make an heir thing."

"Ah, right. Eamon told me about the grey warden taint. It slowly kills and makes it hard to produce a child, doesn't it?"

"Eamon told you?"

"Yes, but he also said it was hard – but not _impossible_."

"I guess that would be a worry for him with Alistair being king now and needing an heir."

"Well yes, that does worry Eamon. But in this case we were talking about you".

"Me?"

Elissa heard her voice waiver when she spoke. She could tell it came out barely more than a squeak. She looked down at her hands, clasped together in her lap. She was interested in knowing more, she wanted to know everything, but was too afraid to ask in case her voice failed her again. She should have been completely mortified by the tone of the conversation since it was very personal, but the warm quiver in her body had started again. She _liked _what she was hearing. She heard him chuckle again but didn't look up to see why.

"Elissa, I still don't see the problem. Do you not think that a man could fall in love with your beauty and bravery and not care one moment about anything else?"

"I... no. I don't believe it will ever happen. That part of my life was over before it even started, I guess."

Elissa kept her eyes down. It was hard to admit how she felt to herself, let alone anyone else. She had always dreamed of finding the right man to sweep her off her feet and carry her away to his castle. It was never a case of not wanting to get married. It was finding a man that she cared enough for to even consider it. She was telling the truth when she said all the suitors were idiots. They liked the idea of having a teyrn's daughter as their wife – but they didn't really want _her_. Joining the Grey Wardens had changed her life. She had put duty and honor above all else in order to end the Blight and save the world. Sometimes, when she was wracked with loneliness, she wondered if it would have been kinder if she _had _died when she gave the Archdemon the deathly blow.

Teagan slid his hand off her leg and brought it up to touch her check. He trailed down her face and cupped her chin gently tipping her face up to look at him. When he spoke it was in a whisper. "And if you found a man that loved for who you are - despite everything – would you feel differently?"

"Yes."

_Someone, call a healer. I think my heart just stopped._

Instead of saying anything else he sighed and pulled her head back down to his chest. She felt his arms as they wrapped around her again and pulled her firmly against his body.

"You could have become queen, you know"

"I… wait… what?"

"You heard me_. _It was obvious to everyone at the landsmeet that you and Alistair cared for each other".

"Cared for each other?"

"It's only naturally progression. All that time spent on the road together – it wasn't a surprise that things got more intimate over time."

"Intimate? People thought we were _intimate_?"

_Way to ruin the mood Teagan. Really. What kind of person do you think I am?_

Elissa could feel the anger taking over – the quiver running through her wasn't warm – it was red hot. How could he even think that? How could anyone think that? She was a teyrn's daughter; she wasn't brought up to take these things lightly. Intimate was something you did with your husband and only that man. She could feel the heat of the tears as they spilled down her face. To think that anyone thought that lowly of her was humiliating. If she was really honest, it was the fact that _Teagan_ believed it that hurt. Was it really that hard to imagine she had principles? That she could have made the choice to save herself for just one person? She wanted to run, to run and lock herself in her room and be anywhere but here. She tried to push herself away but Teagan was still holding her too tightly.

Elissa looked up at him and glared. The look he gave her was so full of tenderness her heart ached and the anger seeped away. Somehow, through her whole fit of anger, she had missed _his_ reaction to her fury. She tried to stay angry with him – tried her hardest to bundle up the anger and not let it leave. But looking into _those _eyes always made her forget… well… everything.

Teagan slowly removed his arms from around her back and gently took her hands in his. He pressed his lips to the back of her hands and whispered against the skin,"Please, don't leave me".

_Seriously, is there a woman alive that could resist that?_

Elissa sighed and relaxed. She leaned forward and buried her face in folds of his shirt. He let go of her hands, wrapped his arms back around her and leaned to rest his chin on the top of her head.

"Elissa, will you explain why you are angry with me?"

"No."

"Please?"

Elissa sighed. Sitting up again she tried to think of the best, _least embarrassing_, way to explain it to him.

"Alistair and I were never intimate. Yes, I care for him like a _brother. _We are brother and sister _Wardens. _That is all it ever was and all it could ever be – it just wasn't anything more. To think that anyone else thought that I could possibly shame my family by being _intimate _with Alistair or anyone is embarrassing."

"I don't understand… why would being intimate with Alistair be a shame to your family?"

_I was wrong. You _are_ an idiot._

"You really don't want to hear it."

"Why not?"

"Don't make me say it."

"Please?"

_Andraste's holy twisted knickers! He's going to make me say it, isn't he?_

"I have never and will probably never be intimate with anyone, Teagan. I was brought up to be honourable, a teyrn's daughter, and everything that entails. Being intimate with anyone was out of the question. For the Makers sake, do you really think I would have been allowed suitors if said honor was not intact?"

"Oh."

"Oh? That's it? No apology for completely mortifying me? I will never be able to show my face at the royal courts again."

"I'm sorry?"

"I can't believe you think so _highly _of me. For your information I have had many offers and I turned them all down gracefully. Despite what you may think of me I happen to think that saving myself for the man I love is important."

_Says the girl straddling the guy underneath her – wearing practically nothing. Think on that one, you bastard._

He was thinking it over; she could see it in his eyes. His view kept switching from her face to her body to how she was sitting and back to her face. He stared at her like he was willing her mind to open up and let him see her thoughts. All the while Elissa sat there for what seemed like an age, wishing he would say something before she burst into flames and ended up a pile of ashes at his feet. He didn't look like he had decided anything before he spoke.

"I think, my Lady Cousland, that is it time for bed."

"Oh, right. It's getting late"

"Yes it is, and it's getting very chilly. Perhaps it would be a good idea to get you out of the cold?"

He had a point and Elissa knew it. Her nightdress was not exactly cold weather material. As gracefully as she could, Elissa pushed herself up, dusted off her knees and smoothed down the material of the nightgown as she wished that is was possible to _actually _be graceful wearing what she was wearing. She shivered when the cold air touched her skin – her body remembered just how warm it was in his arms.

"A goodnight to you then, Bann Teagan. I have enjoyed our errr… chat."

"Indeed, my lady, it is always enjoyable to spend time with such a lovely woman."

_Oh, you're good…_

Teagan was several steps ahead of her and had the door open to the private suites by the time she reached him.

"After you, my lady."

Elissa nodded in thanks and cursed whoever it was that put her room next to his. It would mean walking down the long hall together. Squaring her shoulders, she marched down the passage as quickly as she could without breaking out into an actual run. Lucky for her, everyone else seemed to have retired for the night. There was no castle staff around to catch her prancing around the castle in her state of dress, or, rather, her state of undress.

Elissa didn't realize Teagan was right behind her until his right arm was around her waist, pulling her up against his body. She felt his hot breath trickle down the skin of her neck as he bent his head down to her ear.

_Gulp!_

"Where are you going?"

"Ah… I… to my room?"

"I was hoping you would like to join me."

"Join you?"

"To finish our chat, yes. Will you come?"

_Say no! Say no! Say no!_

"Yes."

In one swift motion she heard the door to his room open and felt as he swung her into his arms. He gently cradled her against his chest as he kicked the door shut behind him and walked across the room. Elissa panicked only once, as she saw the bed off to one side but he walked right past it without a pause. She reached up, wrapped her hands around his neck and buried her face in his chest again. He stopped at the long upholstered recliner in front of the window and sat down.

She felt as he brought his hand off her waist and gently traced a line down her neck from her ear to her chin with the tips of his fingers. She was starting to shake again and would have collapsed if she had not been lying in his arms. Her breath was already reduced to gasps but when he replaced his fingers with his lips it stopped all together. He stopping kissing her neck and met her gaze.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Elissa bit her lip and shook her head in a silent no. She wondered how long she could hold her breath before she fainted. She felt herself exhale as his lips continued their exploration. She heard herself let out a soft moan of ecstasy that would have had her blushing from head to toe if she wasn't already.

"Elissa, you never answered my question"

"Which one was that?"

"Why are you here?"

"Because you seem to have me trapped?"

He laughed and shifted their positions. He softly guided her head to the pillowed armrest and slipped her legs off his lap. She watched as he very cautiously stretched out beside her, resting his head on his arm so he could look down at her. He carefully balanced himself on the edge of the lounge putting as much distance between them as was possible in the small space.

"Elissa, I won't trap you, the door is right there. Do you want to go?"

That was an interesting question to answer. Did she want to go? Absolutely _not_. Did she think she _should_ go? Yes. Was she going to leave? No! Short of her parents ghosts appearing in the room, there was nothing that could force her to leave. He must have taken her lack of running out of the room as a positive step because he returned to mapping out the lines of her neck and shoulder.

"Why did you come to Redcliffe?"

"I came for the view."

"The view?"

"Mhmm."

"Why were you in the garden tonight?'

"Lovely view in the garden at night?"

His lips had moved down to her collarbone as he caressed her skin with feathery kisses. Elissa felt as her body reacted to his touch – the heat building up to a searing ache that spread like wildfire through her limbs. She wondered to herself if her heart could literally explode from its frantic beat. Her thoughts of her mother's lectures erased from her mind.

_Oh, blast it all to hell!_

"Teagan."

"Yes?"

"I came to see you."

"Why?"

"To tell you how much I want you?"

_Oh dear Maker... no no no! You did _not_ just say that!_

She didn't have to open her eyes to know he was looking at her. She could feel his breath wash over her face. She found it fascinating that his breath was coming as quickly as hers was. She was moving into dangerous terrain and she knew it. She thought about why she came here and why she wanted to be here. It wasn't a matter of whether or not she loved him, she knew that she did. There could never be another man in her life that she would love this much – there was no room left in her heart.

"Teagan."

"Yes?"

"Since we are all about questions, will you answer one of mine?"

"Yes."

"Why were _you _in the garden tonight?"

"I was thinking about you. About your knives, actually."

"My knives?"

"I was thinking about whether or not there would be a time when you didn't have them on you."

"Ok?"

"Even now, when you look completely unarmed, I'm thinking that you may actually have them hidden somewhere I can't find."

"Oh? No, I'm totally unarmed tonight"

_In more ways than you realize._

"No knives?"

"No."

"No weapons of any sort?"

"No."

"Poisons?"

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm completely serious."

"Why does it matter, anyway?"

_He's completely lost his mind._

"Well, I wanted to ask you something. But I wanted to make sure it was safe first, in case you tried to kill me."

"I could still kill you with my bare hands, you know."

"I think I'd rather like to take that chance."

_Enjoy being strangled, would you?_

"What would you like to ask, Teagan?"

"If the right person asked you to marry them, what would you say?"

"What?"

"Well, you did say that if you found someone who loved you, despite everything, you would marry them. Yes?"

"I said that yes…but…"

_Oh holy hell, this can't be happening!_

She felt as he reached over to take her left hand in his. He slowly brought it up to his lips and kissed the tips of her fingers before resting their entwined hands together above her head. He was so close now she could feel the length of his body along her side, making her ache with longing. The feel of his arm now draped across was _distracting; _she crushed her eyelids together and concentrated on not swooning.

_Sod it, I should have had Leliana teach me the Chant of Light._

"So tell me, if that person was say, me – what would you answer?"

"Teagan, be serious."

"I'm completely serious."

"Why in the Maker's name would you even want to ask me that?"

"Do you remember the day we met in Redcliffe? You walked into the Chantry and promised your aid. I saw you and I knew I would _never_ find a woman more heroic and beautiful."

_He really thinks I'm beautiful. Is it rude to squeal?_

She fought to keep her mind clear. This was an important moment and she had no idea what to do. Try and run away? Dissolve into a molten puddle on the floor? Scream for help? He was right – she needed her knives.

Elissa opened her eyes and looked at him. She could see quite clearly that after everything they had talked about tonight, after everything she had said, he was still worried that she would say no. She realized then that even though he had more experience he was as scared by this as she was. This was new to him, because he actually cared – because he loved her. It was that realization that grounded her and all her fears drifted away. She could see herself as his wife because he respected her for what she was: the Gray Warden warrior who would never be released from her duty - and he would never expect her to be anything else.

"Teagan?"

"Yes?"

"If it was _you _that asked, I would say yes."

"Really?"

"I'm completely serious"

She watched as his doubt cleared from his eyes and a smile that melted her already burning heart spread across his face. His hand moved down to caress her face. He stared at her with eyes that burned with happiness so intense it took her breath away. She reached up the thread her fingers through the hair behind his head and smiled.

"Teagan, what just happened?"

"I think I just convinced the Hero of Ferelden to marry me"

"I think you might have"

"Elissa?"

"Yes?"

"Do you like your ring?"

"What ring?"

He reached back, grabbed her hand, and pulled it down to her face. It was then that she saw the brilliant cut emerald on her finger sparkling in the light of the hearth fire. Out of all of Thedas he had found a gem that almost exactly matched the color of her eyes.

"It's more perfect than you realize, but when exactly did you get it on my finger?"

"And here I thought you were a rogue."

_Well, doesn't he look smug._

"Teagan, I love you."

"As I love you, my lady."

"Do I get to sleep here tonight?"

This time she didn't resist when he pulled her close – or flinch when her shredded nightdress fell to the floor. For once she had no doubts that this was right. Here, in his arms, was where she belonged. This was the moment she had been waiting for, that special moment with the man she loved.

There was, however, one more question she had to ask as they drifted off to sleep.

"Teagan?"

"Yes my love?"

"Do I get to hear your secrets now?"


End file.
